no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I got a message the other day that just said “great titsâ€
A gentleman AND a scholar
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
