She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We left an ass print on the piano.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
