so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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