she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
