I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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