Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
