Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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