Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
