I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
