Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
