508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
