yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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