High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
