How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
