so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
