mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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