in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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