Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
