I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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