Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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