Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
