I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
