If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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