Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
