Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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