If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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