8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
