His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
