We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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