Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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