if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Come on in and take your pants off
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