That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
