there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
