just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
