It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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