So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
