so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
