so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize