Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
