Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
