im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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