We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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