Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
