ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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