Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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