I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
