I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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