i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
