A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...