super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.