Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.

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  (301): Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/igis
  Replies (6) Good night (1545) Bad night (563)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Yah man, that place is surreal

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?

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  (801): Yah man, that place is surreal (731): Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal? http://tfl.nu/sga3
  Replies (70) Good night (4195) Bad night (1697)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  I hate you

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  (425): Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs? (1-425): I hate you http://tfl.nu/19l9
  Replies (14) Good night (4085) Bad night (593)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in

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  (248): If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in http://tfl.nu/mb19
  Replies (9) Good night (1025) Bad night (3365)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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  (703): the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up. http://tfl.nu/glqa
  Replies (23) Good night (4584) Bad night (1496)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.

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  (813): Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again. http://tfl.nu/0xdw
  Replies (14) Good night (851) Bad night (4390)
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  (626): View more from California

  This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side

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  (626): This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side http://tfl.nu/w2qc
  Replies (17) Good night (3761) Bad night (942)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.

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  (303): We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is. http://tfl.nu/mbfy
  Replies (6) Good night (3739) Bad night (1179)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians

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  (248): I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians http://tfl.nu/d2hy
  Replies (5) Good night (2097) Bad night (706)
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  (949): View more from California

  He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick

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  (949): He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick http://tfl.nu/ka5e
  Replies (20) Good night (1786) Bad night (853)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...

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  (706): Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something... http://tfl.nu/hryz
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (840)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.

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  (731): you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful. http://tfl.nu/8o0g
  Replies (5) Good night (1022) Bad night (525)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"

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  (573): Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo" http://tfl.nu/w19f
  Replies (1) Good night (860) Bad night (391)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.

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  (406): I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage. http://tfl.nu/dt2r
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (230)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter

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  (301): he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter http://tfl.nu/j7zw
  Replies (3) Good night (176) Bad night (145)

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