Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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