you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
