Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
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this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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