she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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