I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize