One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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