I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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